Colleague Samantha: “I could order the women’s or the men’s package for my work outfit”

What do equal opportunities mean to you?

“That orientation doesn’t matter. That everyone will be treated the same. That you don’t have to come out of the closet. In an ideal world, you wouldn’t have to wonder how other people might react. When I joined the bank five or six years ago, I didn’t know exactly what my orientation was. I avoided words like ‘gay’ and ‘lesbian’, as I didn’t want to draw too much attention to them. But that actually ended up attracting too much attention, and it became a ball and chain. Now I just tell a colleague that I’m going on a date with a woman. I find it so normal now that I no longer give it a second thought. But I know that saying that will always carry a certain charge for some people. There are a lot of people out there who are so dead-set against this that they just don’t want to know. They’ll never ask themselves how being a lesbian affects me—or doesn’t affect me—as an individual. If you don’t open up, you’ll perpetuate certain views.”

Have you ever experienced inequality?

“When I was eighteen and had just started working at the bank, I noticed that my style of dress didn’t go down too well. ‘Ties are for men, aren’t they?’ I got dirty looks, and people gossiped about me. At that time, I myself wasn’t comfortable with who I was. I discovered that my style of dress went along with being a lesbian, and I needed time to figure myself out and feel that I was okay. I just wanted to do my job without the fear of being the object of all that gossip...What made it more difficult was that I had to wear the outfits prescribed by the bank. I could order the clothing package for women or men. But there was no tie in any of the women’s outfits. Fortunately, I had some really nice male colleagues who were willing to order a tie for me. They thought it was cute. I can name a few more situations, also outside work. To be honest, I thought that stuff happened to everyone all the time, but in a conversation with colleagues I found out that that’s not the case—far from it.”

How do you deal with inequality?

“When I’m out of an evening and men notice I’m into women, they’ll say ‘Oh, but you’ve never been with a man’. The idea that people will try to tell you how you should be, just because they don’t get it...I’ve learned to deal with that. I always respond respectfully. To avoid psychological and physical blows, I do sometimes adapt and make sure I don’t stand out. Still, when I experience inequality, I speak up. Eighteen months ago, when I was still working at one of the bank’s branches, a female colleague was accosted in a really nasty, threatening way by a client. Before I knew it, I was standing between her and the client: ‘I don’t like your tone, so I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave.’ The police had to be called in. After this incident, I pretty much went into shock. The bank took good care of me: I was sent home by taxi and the company doctor kept a close eye on me in the days and weeks that followed.”

Why are equal opportunities important?

“I see equal opportunities as a basic right for everyone. But people who fall just outside the norm still feel inferior. They suffer unnecessarily because of something they have no control over. In the short time that we’re here together, everyone should be able to be themselves. If you’re constantly fighting a battle in the back of your mind to avoid being noticed, you can’t do your job well.”

How can we achieve equal opportunities?

“By being open to each other’s stories. I’m glad that orientation is already widely discussed, but more still needs to be done, even here at the bank. I think it’s important not to pigeonhole people who find the subject difficult, but to approach them with respect. I want to show a different way of doing things by talking about it. The Diversity & Inclusion department is doing a good job on this front. They spread information and look at how orientation is regarded here at the bank. By talking about it, we can bring it to the surface and gain new insights.”

This interview is part of a series of interviews about equal opportunities, in which we talk to various colleagues about the obstacles that we still need to overcome, both as a bank and as a society.With our comprehensive diversity and inclusion policy, we give special attention to women, the LGBTI+ community, people with occupational disabilities, people from different cultural backgrounds, and senior citizens. For Pride 2022, we asked four employees from the LGBTI+ community five questions about equal opportunities.

Equal opportunities are a key part of our extensive diversity and inclusion policy. If our inclusive way of working appeals to you, take a look at werkenbijabnamro.nl. Who knows? Maybe you’ll soon be one of our new colleagues.