Why we should not try to avoid awkward conversations

A world with equal opportunities is a great notion, but still far from reality, as 28-year-old Fadime Keçe from Amsterdam is all too aware. She has Turkish roots herself, and strives for everyone to be treated in the same way. As well as working at ABN AMRO, she is a member of the board of Agora Network, an organisation that promotes cultural diversity within companies and government bodies.

The bank is also affiliated with this network and regularly contributes to events supporting diversity, inclusion and professional development. People with a diverse cultural background often grow up observing the customs of two or more cultures, which sometimes leads to difficulties. In the workplace, for example, if the standards and values that apply at home differ from western values.

This interview is part of a series of interviews about equal opportunities. We are talking to various colleagues about the obstacles that we still need to overcome, both as a bank and as a society.

Authenticity in the workplace

This is why Fadime recently organised an Agora Network master class about being yourself in a professional setting. “This is important to everyone, whether you’re culturally diverse or not,” she explains. “But it can be even more difficult to show your vulnerable side if you have a different cultural background, as your chance of deviating from the norm within an organisation is much higher than for the average professional. And yet being yourself at work is crucial, because this is how you build lasting relationships and get accepted for who you are. In turn, this is important to your career and to leading a happy life.”

What does equal opportunities mean to you?

“A setting that provides room for this authenticity. Somewhere where you feel safe being yourself, without feeling that you fall short of the norm. I think the first thing we need to do is lose the term ‘norm’. People are often convinced that you need certain traits to be successful, such as assertiveness, visibility and ambition. That’s why I think we should focus above all on being equal rather than being the same: everyone has a unique set of talents and strengths and can be successful in their own way. Letting go of the norm boosts creativity.”

Why are equal opportunities important?

“Diversity and inclusion are steadily gaining attention throughout the world. Our society is becoming more and more diverse, just like our clients. If the bank can respond to these changes, our products and services will still be of value to the people who use them. A focus on inclusion generates more creativity and new insight. If everyone has the chance to be themselves, you will see the full benefits of diversity: a diverse range of perspectives that challenge and complement each other.”

Have you ever experienced inequality?

“Yes. During internships at other companies, I often noticed that colleagues had certain preconceptions about me. Someone might say ‘Your Dutch is really good’, while I was born and bred in Amsterdam. At times like this, you’re subtly edged out of the group on the basis of your name and appearance. It’s as if you don’t really belong. Even if the comments aren’t meant unkindly, they still have an impact.”

Fadime still notices that she sometimes has to work harder than other people in order to progress. “I grew up convinced that it’s very important to be modest. So I don’t blow my own trumpet, and I tend to talk about ‘we’ and ‘us’ instead of ‘I’ and ‘me’. I found it incredibly difficult at first to make myself seen. I’ve got the hang of it now, but processes like this can take a long time.

How do you deal with inequality?

“Inequality can be difficult to recognise as it’s so subtle. I found a master class given by the social researcher Jurriaan Omlo very helpful. He explained that there are three basic ways to deal with inequality: fight it, avoid it or accept it. I was definitely in the last category. In the past, if anything happened that didn’t feel right, I usually passed it off by saying something like: ‘Oh, I’ve heard worse’. But since this eye-opener, I’ve become more critical, although I still find it hard to raise the subject of inequality.”

How can we achieve equal opportunities?

“By not avoiding awkward conversations. Recruiting talent with a culturally diverse background is a good first step, but you then need to hang on to these people. We need a culture that focuses on diversity and equality, where there is room to discuss differences.”

“As well as having many benefits, a diverse team can also generate friction, particularly at first. When you bring together a group of people from very different backgrounds, with very different opinions, there is bound to be disagreement. Everyone needs to have an open mind in order to create an inclusive, safe culture. If you can arrive at a joint solution, people feel involved and heard. This is how you create an environment where everyone can be themselves.”

Response from Kris Appalsamy, strategic risk specialist:

Response from Deji Adeyemo, senior financial analyst: